Some of our children have a special medical condition that sometimes can make life very challenging. Specialist doctors including the best of the best in the world have been unable to provide any answers or correct treatment measures for them. My husband and I work very hard to provide the finances needed to pay for special foods and supplements that the children need as well as even special apparel. We cannot live life like the rest of the world as slight traces of many foods cause them to look death in the face . Ambulance rides have been normal life for us in the past 5 years. As their care giver and mother, I have to assess every little cough, runny nose, or shortness of breath to make sure it isn’t correlating with their medical condition which could kill them within minutes, even seconds.
I am not going to lie- it is super hard. It is hard to monitor every little thing, hard to have a great big chunk of our finances go to special daily practices that keep them alive. It is hard always “fighting” for their health. Although many describe me as a super mom, I plain get tired; some days it is exhausting caring for their health.
Last Sunday our pastor strongly emphasized surrendering to God everything that we carry. Honestly I sometimes I feel like I carry a lot. Not only do I have work and a career and chores like the rest of the world but I have the lives of young people who death tries to knock on their door every day. I work hard, and sometimes too hard.
Sunday I was so exhausted from taking care of everything in my life that I could barely keep my eyes open or sit straight. When in church the pastor opened up the alter and gave the opportunity for people to come up front to surrender the things they carry of course I was going up front. Sometimes I stay seated worried about what other people think of me, but Sunday I was exhausted to the point of not even caring what others thought. It didn’t even pass through my mind.
I walked up to the front and was so incredibly tired that all I could do was lay flat on my face and listen to the worship music and spend time at Jesus’ feet. I had no strength to sit up so for several minutes I laid there forgetting about all my other responsibilities and spent time with God. I knew God would take care of my other responsibilities I usually tend to while at church. I needed rest and rest was what I got. It was so nice to lay there without any burdens or responsibilities to carry, just letting God carry them. I surrendered.
What does it mean to surrender? In war it means that one side gives up. Does that mean I give up on my responsibilities? Does that mean I don’t cook special food anymore for my kids? That i don’t monitor their health? That I just lay on the couch and don’t work? Absolutely not.
It means I don’t see life as a “battle” any more. I let God carry these heavy weight things. I fight against the sickness but not in a battling sense. I allow God to help me make decisions and trust that He follows through in keeping them safe. I have done this all along but not 100%.
Let me give you an example: one of my sons had to get a Dental procedure done. The dentist gave me options to choose from but with his health if I were to choose the wrong option, even though simple treatment, it could kill him. I have been stressing out over which treatment to choose- wanting to make sure I didn’t choose wrong. Yesterday was his dental appointment and I still didn’t know what to choose. Then I remembered we need to surrender to God. This means listening to God, applying what you hear, and trusting Him to take care of things. 30 seconds before leaving the appointment I heard from God but had to fight the fear of the procedure. Surrendering is obeying. Surrendering is trusting and then not worrying. Surrendering is putting your kid’s life into God’s hands.
What do you need to surrender today? Remember, surrendering isn’t just giving up completely on life, but obeying God, walking out what He wants, and not worrying about the rest!!! Surrender today!