After having to deal with one infant’s skin issues and allergies I never had any hopes or desires to have to go through it all with a second child. I wanted the child, yes, but not to deal with the extreme lifestyle that mothering an infant with such health issues entails…. Twice.
I am about to be brutally honest here. Back in March I had more than my fill of God. I couldn’t understand why He was putting us through all of this again. I didn’t understand why He wasn’t lifting the eczema mountain away when I prayed. It seemed like He wasn’t there.
In the beginning of March I told God, “You know what, you have until the end of the month to heal my child. If he isn’t healed by the end of March I am done believing in you.” I had enough of the pain associated with watching a child suffer under God’s watch.
What then happened in March? I would like to say goodness happened. I am still trying to figure out the goodness in it all, but my worldly eye says different. In one month what happened: my appendix ruptured, my husband lost his job, and my child spent a week in the intensive care unit.
So was I done with God? I told him I would be, right? The end of March came and my child was even sicker. So I should have been done with God…..
5 months later and all the issues adults face are still clumped up into a big lump for us: trusting for employment, trusting for health, trusting for everything.
I never gave up on God. I wanted to- so many times. I know deep down though that what happens on earth we will never be able to understand. I cannot so easily give up on one who never gives up on me. It is near the middle of August and I have found a different prayer:
“Let Your will be done.”
In the Bible it tells us how to pray: “Our Father, who art in Heaven. Hallowed be the name. Thy Kingdom come, THY WILL BE DONE, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. Lead us not into temptation. And deliver us from evil…….for thine us the kingdom and the power and the glory forever…..
We could go on and on praying God into a box until we are blue in the face. God doesn’t and won’t stay in the box.
We could pray stipulations on God. God says to test him in certain areas….like tithe…but God cannot be controlled. He cannot be manipulated by what you want out of your circumstances.
It is a hard thing to just pray that God’s will be simply done. In order to pray that one has to get rid of all fear and all sense of controlling. One has to get rid of all self- and all selfishness. One has to learn to trust -100%.
But when it is prayed: “thy will be done,” there is such peace. There is such simplicity.
God knows the desires of your heart. You don’t have to keep reminding him as if nagging to death. Because, when constantly reiterating what you want until you are blue in the face, it is like that: bringing death to the situation. He knows. He knows your desires. He has plans to give you the desires of your heart: in HIS timing, not yours.
How much simpler and easier it is to trust in God’s will.
We can’t force God’s will to be exactly what we think it should be. We sure may not understand it. Surrendering into what God’s desire is truly does take weights and burdens off. It takes a leap of faith and being ok with not boxing God into your precious little box. It takes trusting that He has goodness for your wellbeing in mind even when it feels like He doesn’t.
“God, we say, ‘let Your will be done,’ and we hold on for the ride.”
“Let Your will be done-” the simplest, easiest, yet hardest prayer.
In this prayer there is also a sense of rest.
Try it. It is a life changer.